


Wonder What She Thinks of Me

by omgrottengirl



Category: Thai Actor RPF, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, MewGulfMadeMeDoIt, One Shot, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25645786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgrottengirl/pseuds/omgrottengirl
Summary: "We've done so many explicit scenes, Nong. You should get used to it by now."
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTE:
> 
> Hi! Hello! I am new to the fandom of MewGulf because of a certain friend that suggested and insisted that I should watch The TharnType Series hehehehe so I hope you’ll take it easy on me with this fic. This was based and inspired by Chloe X Halle’s song of the same title. This is a one shot that I divided into two parts just because 😅✌🏽

**I wonder what she thinks of me when you're coming home. I know that she smells my perfume under your cologne.**

After a long day of filming, Mew Suppasit, a BL actor who's been in this industry for quite a while, seated himself comfortably on the black sofa that was part of their filming set. Gulf Kanawut, his co-star and a newbie to this industry, plopped to the empty space beside him, "Finally! We're done for the day!". Mew smiled as he noticed that the younger man next to him looked so tired yet happy and was grinning from ear to ear.

"Excited to go home, Nong?", Mew inquired.

"Excited to see my girlfriend, Phi", Gulf said with a wink, "We haven't seen each other for quite some time", and even though Mew's smile faltered a little bit hearing the reply, the younger of the two didn't seem to notice.

"I smell a lot like you these days. Maybe, it's because we've been all over each other while filming". Gulf commented absent mindedly as he sniffed around the collar of his shirt, "My girlfriend might think that I'm not using the cologne she gave me."

Mew snickered, "You'll get in big trouble, Nong. Some people say that even though I'm a man, I sometimes have this scent like I'm a woman".

Gulf nodded his head as if he was agreeing to what Mew just said, "You actually do, Phi. But you have this unique smell. It's a scent that belongs only to you".

Upon hearing that compliment, Mew Suppasit, age 28 and a BL actor who's been in this industry for quite a while, tried his best to hide the blush that was threatening to spread on his cheeks.

**I wonder what she thinks of me when you stay awake. After you make love to her, but I'm still on your brain.**

"AND CUT!"

Mew, who was on top of Gulf, tore his lips from the man beneath him after he heard the Director yell. He smacked his lips together unknowingly, savoring the kiss he shared with Gulf, not knowing that the other was watching him carefully. Mew heard his fellow actor laugh and he managed to snap back to reality.

"What's so funny?" Mew asked trying to stay composed as possible. He still hasn't left his position of being on top of the other actor.

Gulf, who was underneath him, kept on laughing, teeth all out and his eyes looking like tiny crescent moons, "I'm sorry, Phi. But you looked so cute when you did that I just couldn't help it. You looked like you really enjoyed it".

Even though he's a professional when it comes to his work and he has always told himself to remain one after the disaster that he went through in the past, Mew Suppasit is still human after all. He has a weak spot when it comes to people telling him he's cute or that his actions were cute. And Gulf Kanawut saying that he's cute, who was he to complain?

"We've done so many explicit scenes, Nong. You should get used to it by now." He tried to tease the younger man.

Gulf teased him back, "I got so used to us doing it that it keeps me awake at night".

Mew opened and closed his mouth.

He did not expect that to come from Gulf.

Mew was clearly taken aback and wanted to give out a witty reply. He was an engineer for goodness sake! He should be able to come up with something. And fast. But even with a master's degree, Mew couldn't think of any comeback and was left speechless by Gulf's statement.

Damn it!

**I'm not the jealous type, not like the other guys.**

After getting the main role for The TharnType series, Mew thought that there was no harm in trying to research the people who he's going to work with. Especially, the other main actor. A fan managed to get the newbie's instagram account and told him about it during the casting.

It was for research purposes only, you know.

No big deal.

But after the casting and doing many workshops together, it became a habit for Mew to check out the other's account whenever he's alone.

"He always tags his girlfriend in his post. What a loyal guy", he says it as if he was trying to convince himself of something.

And checking Gulf's account became a bad habit actually. It can't be helped that he finds this new actor interesting.

And cute.

Shit.

**I wish you all the best, I'll help you pick her dress.**

"P'Mew, I have a problem."

Mew looked up from the screen of his phone and ogled the man in front of him. They were on a break from their workshop and was killing time until they would resume their activities.

"What is it?"

Gulf sighed heavily and pouted. Mew had to restrain himself from squealing, he wanted to punch himself on the face because he knows oh so well that he likes what he's seeing at the moment.

"I want to buy something for my girlfriend but I'm not sure what it should be. I want it to be different."

"Okay. So...", Mew cocked a brow and urged the other to continue.

"Well, I was hoping you'd help me out, Phi. Knowing you have your own experience with relationships before..."

_'Terrible ones. Yes.',_ Mew mused in his mind and wanted to roll his eyes remembering some of them.

"I think you're an expert", Gulf finished with a cheeky smile.

It was a great thing that Mew accompanied his sister shopping the other day because that gave him an idea to suggest something to his friend.

Yes, he considers Gulf as his friend, despite the fact that he is attracted to him.

Fine, he admits it, okay? He is attracted to the actor that plays Type. I mean, who wouldn't be?

You must be blind not to think that Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong is not attractive.

"Buy her a dress. A simple but pretty one"

Gulf's face looked relieved, like the entire weight he's been carrying all this time were lifted off from his shoulders, hearing what Mew just said.

"You're right! How come I didn't think of that!"

Mew rolled his eyes for real this time but playfully. God, he is so whipped.

**Then you can both go to Paris, you're livin' the lavish. I'm actually happy for you.**

"Can you suggest any good places to visit, Phi?", Gulf whispered after taking a spoonful of the food that was served to them.

They were having lunch and were seated next to each other. The other actors who were with them were busy and so immersed talking about some video game.

"Locally or abroad?", Mew whispered back as he chewed on his food while looking at Gulf from the corner of his eye.

The younger man pursed his lips and looked so defeated. He was like a puppy that was abandoned by his owner, "I don't think I can afford a trip abroad with my girlfriend at this time".

It sounded so innocent and pure coming from someone like Gulf that Mew thought Gulf's girlfriend is so damn lucky to have someone as thoughtful to be her boyfriend, "Well, when you do, go to Paris with your lover. I heard it's beautiful there".

**So tell me, tell me, baby, I know this is crazy. You've done this before, so who are you to judge me?**

This wasn't the first time that Mew fell for someone first. And it wasn't the first time that it was one-sided. He already acknowledged the fact that he's been in this shitty cycle countless of times and that he has a hard time getting out. He really is trying his best to get out.

**It's never wrong when you're in love.**

It never is. Even if it's with a man who's already in a relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're so warm", Gulf snuggled even more into Mew's hold.

**I wonder what she thinks of me when she sees that mark. On your neck, oh, no, I didn't mean to go that far.**

"OY! THAT IS HUGE!" Mild, another actor from the TharnType series, who plays his character really well, screamed loudly that the entire production crew had to turn their attention to his direction. Mild was horrified when he saw that huge patch of hickey on Gulf's neck.

"It's fine. It's just for work", Gulf laughed while rubbing the part where the hickey was placed.

"You did this on purpose, P'Mew!", Mild added jokingly while pointing his finger at Mew who was standing a few inches away from them.

"I did not", Mew replied calmly trying to defend himself, "I just did what I was told to do".

It was the director that told him earlier to make sure that the hickey should be visible for everyone to see. So, that's exactly what he did. He should be complimented not insulted or getting accused. Mew did a great job with the hickey it almost looked like a country from a map of some sort.

Mild was amused but not convinced, "Yeah, right Phi".

**I wonder what she thinks of me when she sees my name. On your phone screen, you drop everything just for me.**

He wasn't planning on calling him at this time of the night. He knows for sure that Gulf is probably busy with something or specifically, with someone. Really, he didn't mean to. Of all people that he called, Gulf was the only one who picked up immediately. And Mew was drunk out of his wits. He had too much fun and had too much to drink that he lost count. And now, he can't drive on his own. Nope, he can't even stand up straight.

"P'Mew, are you okay?"

Mew heard a familiar voice pop out of nowhere and in his drunken state he chuckled knowing who it belonged to, "You came".

"I had to. You said it was an emergency", Gulf tried to help him up and assisted the older man by wrapping his right arm around Mew's waist and letting Mew's left arm drape over his neck.

"I thought you're busy", the drunk engineer slurred as they walked out of the place and made their way to the parking lot.

Gulf rummaged around Mew's pockets for his car key, "My girlfriend said it was okay and that I have to get you before you get in trouble".

Mew suddenly had the urge to puke but he held himself back. Hearing Gulf talk about his girlfriend being nice and considerate of his situation right now is making him sick.

The moment they reached his car that was when Mew decided that he can't hold it anymore. Gulf was quick enough to dodge and not get soaked by what Mew was spewing out without letting go of the drunk actor. His skills as a soccer player was useful at times like this.

"I'm sorry", Mew apologized when he was finished. He wiped his mouth and Gulf just smiled in response, understanding the situation.

He patted Mew's back assuringly, "It's okay. I'm here".

**You know behind the scenes you tell me everything. I know you don't forget how much you needed me?**

It was awkward for both of them at first. Of course, they were strangers. Even though they picked each other during the casting it doesn't change the fact that they still have yet to get to know each other.

But as they spent more time with one another and with the help of their workshop, they got comfortable. They started to become relaxed. It got to a point that they would tell each other secrets. And they started to have their own inside jokes that some of the cast (especially Mild) from the series would give them weird looks whenever they both tried to bring it up.

When they have interviews, Mew was quick to notice that whenever Gulf was shy or nervous about answering something he would swiftly look at Mew and the other could tell from the expression on his face that Gulf needed his help. They have formed this instant bond that just by giving each other this certain look, they know what's up.

**And while you do enjoy Paris, your loving is careless. But it's not ever with me.**

"I might consider your suggestion, Phi".

They were waiting for their turn to do a scene when Gulf suddenly said it out of the blue.

Mew was confused, "Consider my suggestion?"

"Going to Paris with my girlfriend", Gulf replied shyly scratching his cheek.

Mew let out an "Oh" when it finally dawned on him.

_‘He's really in love with her.’_

"That's great! Make sure you both have a great time!"

Gulf nodded his head in agreement and chuckled, "My plan is next year when my schedule is not that hectic anymore. I hope."

Mew just smiled and hummed in response looking all happy and excited for Gulf but can’t deny the truth that he was hurt.

**Tell me, tell me, baby. I know this is dangerous. You've done this before so who are you to judge me?**

He forgot his lines. Again. Mew closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Don't stress yourself so much, Phi. We're doing great", Gulf encouraged him as they ran their lines with each other.

"You're in good condition today, Nong"

"Of course! I was a beginner when we started doing this. You were very considerate of me and of my mistakes on our first shooting. I think, it's time I should return the favor", Gulf placed a hand on his left shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. It felt nice and comforting.

Mew can't help but give out a little smile. Whatever he’s gotten himself into, he knows that it’s risky. He’s falling really hard.

He’s got it bad.

**It's never wrong when you're in love.**

It never really is. Mew convinced himself over and over again. Even though, he will never know for how long this growing desire of his will carry on.

They were almost halfway done with the series.

The thought of not getting to work again with Gulf was actually upsetting for him. Mew will miss him. For sure.

**It's never wrong when it feels right. I'll hold you close and pretend you're mine.**

Whenever they have scenes where Mew as Tharn had to embrace Gulf as Type, Mew would imagine in his own little world that it was true.

That they were together.

He was fully aware to never let his personal feelings get involved with his line of work but could you blame him if he wanted to take advantage of the situation? Whenever they would need to re-enact a scene as a lovey dovey couple, that was the only time he was free to do whatever he liked without being suspicious. The man he is attracted to is in a relationship for crying out loud! He doesn't want to be labeled as a boyfriend stealer. He doesn't need another drama after getting over the other one that happened a year ago. No, not again.

If he needed to pretend. He can pretend. Mew can do it. He was used to it.

**I'll be the sun against your skin. I'll be there when she's not listening.**

"She doesn't understand. She never listens!"

Gulf was crying and he was a mess. Mew was worried. It was almost midnight and they were in Mew’s living room. Gulf called him earlier because he said he needed someone to talk to. When the younger man arrived at his door step, Gulf looked so down but he tried to smile when he shared that he brought booze with him. Mew welcomed his co-star with open arms. And now, look where they ended up.

Gulf was sobbing his heart out while Mew nursed his drink, "I did my best to make this relationship work. I really did, Phi".

Mew remained silent. He doesn't know what to say. And more importantly, he doesn't like seeing Gulf acting this way. The sight of a grief stricken Gulf only breaks his heart even more.

"I don't know what went wrong but..." Gulf trailed off as he took another sip from his bottled beer. Mew took a mental note that Gulf had finished three and was on his fourth already. He finally decided that this has to stop. So, he took the liquor out of Gulf's grasp and the other whined but was too wasted to even get it back.

"Come here", Mew spoke softly, after he placed the bottle on the table, and he beckoned Gulf to get closer.

Gulf did not even give it a second thought and he definitely did not hesitate to give in into Mew's embrace. The younger man felt so lost. He just wanted a safe haven.

"You're so warm", Gulf snuggled even more into Mew's hold.

Mew was on cloud nine as he held Gulf's head in place. He knows well he shouldn't be celebrating at this moment because this was not considered as victory. But the fact that Gulf's face fitted perfectly in his neck, Mew was happy and he was contented.

Gulf mumbled something inaudible against his skin and Mew had to ask him to say it again because he wasn't able to comprehend what it was.

"Thank you". Gulf murmured once more as his hands wrapped around Mew's waist.

**You can call me crazy, boy. Oh yeah, we'll both be crazy, boy.**

He wasn't the only one who was aware of this but fans and a lot of reporters commented on their incredible chemistry (whether it was on or off cam). It was oozing to the point that whenever they would lock eyes he would completely forget that there were screaming girls in the background watching their every move. Gulf was really at ease with him now. And it was Mew who gets all flustered and embarrassed whenever Gulf says something without thinking about it thoroughly.

All of the promotions they did went great and were all well received. They were totally in sync with each other and it drove their supporters crazy.

And when Gulf would cling to him after being humiliated because there he was saying things that he was unsure of since he was too honest and innocent, it wasn't only the fans that were in frenzy. Mew was too.

**Tell me you love me, 'cause I just wanna be your baby.**

It happened on the 12th episode of The TharnType Series. Mew remembers that scene like it was filmed yesterday. It was when Type tells Tharn to listen to him carefully because he was only going to say it once. And he wasn't going to repeat it.

Type, played by Gulf, brought their faces close to each other as he held both sides of Tharn's face with his hands. And he whispered lovingly, "I love you... you asshole, Tharn". Mew knew that Gulf was in character but he wasn't sure with himself if he was.

Was he Mew or Tharn that time?

Was he both?

Mew lets out this relieved smile and laughed lightly as Gulf brought their faces closer again before cupping his face oh so affectionately that it made his knees weak.

Mew felt so overwhelmed about everything that he was swarmed with emotions. The next thing he knew, he was crying. And he surely knows why. Ever since that feud from last year, Mew had all these kinds of mixed feelings inside him and he made sure to lock them all up. He became cautious and avoided making mistakes so that the same mishap from before won’t occur again. People say that history repeats itself. He doesn’t want that to happen. Ever.

Right now, in this situation, with Gulf touching and caressing his face like he’s the most precious thing that ever existed, he couldn't pinpoint which feeling is which because he felt happy, reassured, worried, scared, excited, and more importantly, he felt saved.

"Why are you crying?", it was Gulf who said it this time in a hushed and worried tone, examining Mew's face. That line wasn't part of the script. The older man was conscious of that even the crew that were with them knew that it was a spontaneous question. It sounded so sincere and mellow that he kept on crying.

Mew felt that he could finally start anew.

**Well, that's the price I gotta pay.**

Gulf insisted on calling him Daddy. Mew would have preferred it if the other called him Baby because it’s way cuter (he never voiced it out because he lets the younger man have his way with him though). Being called Daddy was way too embarrassing on his part. It sounded dirty... yet sexy at the same time (he doesn’t want to admit the last part out loud).

Gulf, being the cheeky little bastard that he was, won't leave him alone and won’t stop teasing him especially on their live sessions and on some of their interviews. Mew finally came to the realization that he might as well just go along with it. He began to grow fond of the endearment (if you could consider it as one). It was better than nothing.

**I wonder what she thinks of me.**

You're an idiot, Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat. You're an idiot in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHOR’S NOTE:
> 
> Heyyyyy! So uhm, hehehe, that was it 🙈 This is my first MewGulf fanfic. If you listened to the song in which this story was based/inspired, it was a side chick / side hoe anthem (I read that from the comments in YT hehehe). But in this story, I didn’t want Mew to be a side hoe or what. I wanted to portray him as someone who liked and learned to love Gulf and waited for him to be ready (?). Yeah, something like that. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed making it. Peace out ✌🏽


End file.
